A Change Of Fates
by AthdaraSeleya
Summary: When he first met her something inside of him changed, something he didn't understand, something absolutely confusing... This is a story about an unknown muggle woman who unvoluntarily steps into the greatest adventure of her life - and she's so not into adventures!
1. Chapter 1

This is going to be a longer story of which 6 chapters are already written. Chapter 1 has already been published by me on DeviantArt, so for those who follow me there, this isn't something new. Further chapters will be uploaded soon.

Voldemort may appear a bit OOC in here, so don't read if you don't like that.

-/-

It was long before sunrise when I decided to leave the motorway for breakfast. Now I was sitting in a rundown fastfood restaurant at the window and drank the first cup of coffee that day. I had picked a newspaper from an empty table and browsed through it lazily. The paper was already a few days old and there was nothing interesting to be found in it. That morning I felt quite well for no reason. I didn't expect anything from that day, honestly I just wanted to go home. I had been on a business trip, and when there's something in the world I really hate, then it's the people that can be met on business trips. I stood up yawning, got me another cup of coffee and sat down again, not paying any attention of that bunch of young people that entered the restaurant.

Tiredly I read about another terror attack somewhere and wondered why there was so much violence in the world that even seemed to increase in the last few months. Somehow I had this feeling that the world was slowly going down the drain due to reasons I didn't understand. I pushed the paper away, leaned back and closed my eyes for a while. Some words from the young people at the table behind me found their way to ears, but they were talking about things which just didn't make sense to me, so I decided to ignore them.

I startled heavily and thus opened my eyes when suddenly the door was pushed open and a group of men entered the restaurant. They all wore robes of the darkest black, their faces were hidden behind some really creepy masks. They rushed over to those young people who jumped up immediately, and suddenly they all pointed at each other with long sticks of wood. I probably would've found it ridiculous, If I hadn't been totally terrified by those guys with the masks. I made myself as small as possible and wished to be invisible. There was a feeling of upcoming violence in the air and I didn't want to participate.

"What do you want?"

It was a young man, tall with tousled dark hair, who was the first to say a word after they all had stared at each other for the eternity of about five seconds.

"Is he here?"

The voice behind the mask sounded very angry, but there was also a touch of fear in it.

"Of course not!"

The reply came from a small blonde girl who seemed to be much more courageous than she looked.

They all stared at each other again, while I was trying to slowly get away without being seen. Of course I failed.

"You!"

The harsh voice behind another mask was obviously talking to me. I closed my eyes with the stupid hope that if I didn't see him he didn't see me as well.

"Leave her!" the young man with the dark hair shouted, "She doesn't belong to us!"

I ducked away, shaking from fear. In the wink of my eye I saw a member of the restaurant staff trying to use her mobile phone, maybe to call the police. I shook my head to tell her that this was a bad idea, but she didn't see me. Somehow I had that feeling the police wouldn't be able to deal with this situation at all.

Suddenly the door was pushed open again and another man entered the restaurant, the long dark robe he wore billowed and gave him a look of strong power. I always had had that certain something for guys in billowing robes, but this time it was far too real to be attractive.

When I took a second look at him I realized that he didn't wear a mask, but there was something about his face that seemed to be totally wrong, I just couldn't figure what it was.

One of the masked guys lost his nerve when he saw the angry tall man entering the room. He screamed a word I've never heard before while he pointed his wooden stick at one of the girls. A green flash of light hit her and she fell silently down to the floor. That event caused a chain reaction, only seconds later they all were fighting against each other, sending flashes of light in different colors from their wooden sticks and screaming unfamiliar words.

'Curses', I thought to myself, 'Bloody hell, these are curses…'

I realized that there was another sound – the woman behind the counter had dropped her mobile phone and started to scream in panic. One of the masked guys turned around and ran over to her.

"Stupid muggle! Stop screaming!"

She ignored the yelling man and kept on screaming. I looked at her full of fear, because I somehow knew that if she went on like that the men in the black robes would kill us all. A flash of green light stopped the scream all of a sudden. I felt my stomach turning around. Never before I had seen somebody die, and now there were two in just a few minutes. That was by far too much to take, even more at this time of day.

The fight went on without involving me and I was quite glad for that. Instead they smashed the whole restaurant. The young people overthrew a table to hide behind it, one of them grabbed me by the arm and pulled me behind the table as well. Our eyes met, I saw a mix of fear and courage in his and a glimpse of the fact that this wasn't his first fight over life and death. And still they all were screaming and shooting flashes of light. I crept away under another table to get as far away from the fight as possible, which was quite a problem, because the restaurant was small and the opponents were many – I counted more than fifteen people. Including him, the man with the flowing dark robes, who just stood there without moving or speaking. I was convinced he didn't see me, but little did I know.

The fight took only a few seconds and in the end the guys behind the masks won. The young people were all lying on the floor, most likely dead, just like the woman behind the counter. One of those guys pushed a table away easily and pointed his wooden stick at me. I wasn't able to move or even scream, I just felt death's cold fingers reaching for me and I prepared myself for the worst case. But the guy was pushed aside by the unmasked man.

"Leave her', he hissed.

His voice sounded cold, clear and with an attitude that seemed to belong to a different world.

"She's seen everything", the masked man growled.

"She's just a muggle…"

His eyes met mine, just for a glimpse. Then he turned around and left the restaurant, followed by the other guys who seemed totally unsatisfied with what had happened.

And I sat there, finally alone, but totally dumbstruck. I needed several minutes to get back into reality again. Carefully I tried to stand up, but my knees were shaking so much that I decided to sit down again. I breathed in deeply just as if I hadn't breathed at all in the last few minutes. A short look at the clock told me that it really hadn't been more than a few minutes, but for me it had felt like an eternity. It took a while to calm down enough for some clear thoughts.

I attempted another try to stand up and this time I succeeded. I walked through the restaurant slowly to look for the people on the floor. I checked their life signs mechanically while I was trying to cope with the fact that they were all dead. Except one. The woman with the long blonde hair touched my hand when I reached for her. I startled and looked in her face, she tried a smile.

"Go away!'

She said the two words so intensely that it made a shiver run down my spine, but I didn't move.

"Run!" she shouted, "Run as far as you can! Next time he won't have mercy with you!"

Honestly I was far too curious to just stand up and leave.

"Who is he?"

I really wanted to know that. He had reprieved me and I needed to know the reason.

"He's the nightmare of a whole civilization…"

After saying these words almost without a sound she died. And I was sitting here, still totally dumbstruck, and felt a fear creeping into my heart, that kind of fear that makes you wish to be anywhere but not here.

Maybe I should have done just do what she said, because I couldn't help those people anymore. I caught my breath and made a decision. Using the staff member's mobile phone I called the police and reported an armed raid. Then I left, jumped into my car and headed to the motorway as fast as I could. I drove the whole way to my hometown without looking at the street, my head was so full of thoughts that I couldn't pay attention to anything else. Again and again I gazed into the rear view mirror, because I still had the feeling something was following me, but I couldn't see anything. A fact that totally creeped me out.

When I finally came home I hurried up the stairs and ran directly into the bathroom. I was so nauseous that I urgently had to vomit. It took a while, then I leaned back at the cool wall, slid down to the floor and tried to catch my breath. The adrenaline that had come along with what had happened at that restaurant slowly began to decrease and gave me a chance to finally calm down. I closed my eyes and buried my face in my hands. I startled when I realized the tears on my cheeks. Somehow I knew that I would never forget what had happened.

But what had actually happened? It seemed so surreal, now that it was over. Who were those people? I could hardly believe that there could be people in the world who were able to fight with wooden sticks… wands? … No, that was impossible. Was it? Of course it was! And what was it about that guy in the flowing dark robes? The nightmare of a whole civilization?

After a while of serious contemplating I decided to keep this incident private. I knew that I only would get into trouble if I told somebody that I had witnessed a wand fight. That was ridiculous!


	2. Chapter 2

Three days after the incident at the restaurant I travelled to the sea by train. I hadn't slept for those three nights and still everything inside of me was raging. If there was any place to finally feel at ease it was my grandparent's cottage by the sea. I had always found comfort when listening to the waves rolling in, and I hoped that it would help this time as well.

But there were some hours left to go and normally I used the time wasted on a train for sleeping, but as I couldn't get any sleep because of the pictures in my mind, I just sat there and stared out of the window at a boring countryside. It was slowly getting dark and the fog that covered the landscape made everything look surreal.

Again I saw the incident in front of my inner eye. The scream of the staff member was the only sound I seemed to hear clearly these days, while every other sound seemed to be covered by cotton wool. I still saw that green flash of light hit her chest and how she collapsed behind the counter. I heard those unfamiliar words the opponents were screaming, saw their weird masks. Everything was still so real that when I closed my eyes I felt as if I was still there. And I couldn't forget him! Sometimes I felt those blue eyes gazing at me, and I wondered why he had allowed me to survive while everybody else in the restaurant had to die. And I couldn't figure out what that dying girl meant when she told me that he was the nightmare of a whole civilization. How was that possible?

I shook my head reluctantly to get rid of those thoughts. I knew that all the contemplating was worth nothing. I would never meet those people again, and that was for the better. I tried to force myself to stop bothering about things I couldn't change. In all my life suppression had always been one of my greatest talents. I opened the newspaper I had bought at the station to distract my mind. Unconsciously I was looking for some new disasters and I got rewarded. I hadn't looked at the front page before, but now I saw the head line: MILLENNIUM BRIDGE DESTROYED – 30 PEOPLE DEAD – CIRCUMSTANCES UNKNOWN.

I knew the Millennium Bridge, had walked it several times myself. It was one of the most discussed pieces of architecture in London and nobody really liked it. Nevertheless it was a popular way to cross the Thames. I read the report attentively and it made me shiver. Witnesses said that at first the temperature had dropped significantly, then the bridge had started to shake like in a thunderstorm, but there was no wind at all. That was really creepy. I didn't know why, but I was somehow sure that the incident had to do with the strange guys in the restaurant. People who could kill with a wooden stick were surely able to make a bridge cave in just by using their will – or a spell.

Again my mind began to drift uncontrolled. For three days I had been wondering about what I had really seen. Colored flashes of light coming from a wooden stick – that wasn't normal. There was no reasonable explanation than the one I didn't want to admit to myself. If those sticks were – purely hypothetical! – wands, then there really had to exist something like magic. But if wizards existed, why didn't I know about them. Did they live in some kind of secret society that succeeded very well in hiding? Wizardry… I shook my head! Wizardry existed in fairytales, in fantasy movies, but surely not in real life! But otherwise…

Once again I shook my head reluctantly and scolded myself for drifting away again. I looked on the display of my mobile phone to find out what time it was. Still three more hours to go and I felt so bored. While I looked out at the countryside the weather began to change. The fog went thicker and the temperature dropped so tremendously that suddenly ice flowers appeared on the window. I stood up to take a closer look outside, but there was nothing to be seen, just the twilight and the fog. I felt a shiver creeping down my spine, every fiber of my body was wide awake and alerted. Something weird was going on…

All of a sudden the lights went out and left nothing but the dark twilight in the train compartment I was standing in. 'Bloody hell' I thought by myself and braced myself for whatever was going to come my way. The train got slower, then it halted in the middle of nowhere. Strangely enough I wasn't afraid at all, just attentive. Nobody could harm me inside a train, right? Of course my thoughts were childish, but I felt secure in a very peculiar way.

I heard the murmuring of other passengers, their footsteps and the noise of opening and closing doors. I carefully opened the door of my own compartment and went outside on the corridor to find out some more of what was going on. The people I met looked rather scared, nobody could explain why we had halted, and there was no member of the staff to be seen anywhere. A business man grumbled that he had some appointments to keep and that he would put the railway company to trial for the interruption. Then he went with big leaps in the direction of the locomotive.

Suddenly the tone of the murmuring changed and I turned around to look in the direction where everybody else was staring at. Then I saw them.

The same robed guys with masks I had seen in the restaurant. I bit my lip to find out if I was dreaming, but unfortunately I was awake. I took a step backwards back into my compartment and hoped that they wouldn't find me. I remembered the words of that dying girl very well: 'Next time he won't have mercy with you.' – were they here to finally do what the man in the flowing robes had forbidden them to do? Holy shit!

Of course you can't find a proper place to hide inside a train compartment, so I could only hope that they would just pass by without noticing me. But again all my hopes were destroyed. One of them pushed the door open, stepped in and closed the door again, while he pointed at me with one of those wooden sticks. I hated that he wore a mask, I wanted to see the expression on his face while he eyed me. God, how had the found me? How could they have known that I was travelling on this train? I hadn't told anyone where I was going to, not even my best and only friend.

"What do you want from me?" I finally asked, letting my guard down, because I knew there wasn't any other path to choose.

I wouldn't mind if he killed me now, but I wanted to know the reason. Honestly I never had feared to die. My life had been a heap of shit since I was born, so why not end it here. This place was as good as any other place.

He did something totally unexpected. With one hand he put his – let's call it wand – away, while he wiped the mask from his face as if it just was some dust.

"Don't worry", he said with an amused smirk and looked at me very seriously with his black eyes while he wiped his black hair from his face, "I will do you no harm."

That was indeed surprising! There he stood in his black robes, scared the hell out of me and told me that he wouldn't harm me. I said nothing, because I just didn't find words. I'd rather smashed his face in.

He sat down, still eying me, and waved his hand to prompt me to sit down as well. I was nervous, but not as scared as I should have been. There was something else, I would call it curiosity.

"So?" I looked at him with a frown.

He was really a strange guy. I've never seen somebody like him. In his eyes I saw a deep sadness, as if he had lost something really important and couldn't get over that loss. The lines on his face told me that he hadn't laughed much in his life. He sighed.

"I'm sorry that we had to scare you, but believe me, it's really necessary", he said and ran his hand through the black hair that framed his face.

"And… who are you? I mean, you and those… other guys?"

I really graved for an answer to that mystery I was contemplating about for days now. Now, that the answer was in my grasp, I promised myself not to let that black haired man go before I knew everything.

"What do you think we are?" he asked a counter-question.

"I… I don't know", I muttered. I would never have dared to ask him if he was a wizard! I'd rather bit my tongue off!

He stood up and came closer to me, whipped his wooden stick out and pointed it at my heart.

"What do you think this is?" he growled. I only shrugged.

He sat down again and looked out of the window. In the meantime it had gotten dark and it was still ice cold everywhere. I hadn't noticed that I felt cold, but now I realized that my body shivered.

"It's against everything I believe in", he muttered and made me turn my head to him again. I seemed to look quite puzzled, because he gave me a thin smile.

"What do you mean?" I asked in confusion, "Why should you do something against your believes?"

"We never – never! – reveal our true nature to anyone who isn't like us. I never thought I would once be forced to do so, but unfortunately he didn't let me choose", he growled, his black eyes seemed to darken some more.

"He?" I asked and felt like an idiot, "You mean…"

He snorted. "Don't!"

I startled because of that strange reaction and decided to remain silent.

"I don't know what he saw in you that made him let you live! But this isn't my business anyway. I just obey his order to bring you to him."

"And…." he waved his hand to stop me from asking another questions.

"Not here", he growled.

I just raised my eyebrows. Things were getting creepier and I had that certain feeling that this day wouldn't end the way I expected at all. But before I could say anything else the door was pushed open and another man entered the compartment. He still wore his mask.

"It's time to leave, Snape, I've manipulated the muggles' minds. They won't remember that we've ever been here. I really don't see the use in searching for her!"

He spoke those words full of reproach, as if he blamed me for all the evil in the world. I hated people behaving like that, but because the guy was pointing at me with his wand, I didn't dare to say anything. Whoever he was, he seemed to stand somewhere above the other man in the ranks of whoever they worked for.

"Don't doubt the Dark Lord's decisions, Lucius, you know very well that he always knows when somebody does it!" Snape said, wiped his hand over his face to put on the mask again and reached out for my hand. He understood my puzzled look right.

"You have to come with us", he let me know, and I was definitely sure that this was the last thing I wanted to do. I shook my head reluctantly.

"That was neither a question nor a request", the man called Lucius growled.

I couldn't see his face, but I knew that behind the mask he was looking at me as if I was a total worthless piece of shit.

Snape was still standing there with his open hand, his whole body language told me not to decline, because if I did he would surely take measures.

And then another thought popped up in my head. I had nothing to lose. My life had been a disaster so far and I wasn't really afraid of dying or getting hurt. I had been hurt so often before, what could be worse? And above all I was curious about what I would find out if I followed those men. I wanted to find out more about them, I had been sure of that fact for three days now. Whatever they offered me, it would be better than everything I had before. So I put my hand into Snape's and noticed that he exhaled relieved.

What happened next is hard to describe. It felt as if I was taken by force, ripped apart in thousand pieces and put together less than a second later. I widened my eyes and realized that I wasn't standing in the train compartment anymore! Now it was time for panic! I choked and tried to find my balance again, my stomach seemed to be willing to get rid of my lunch and I really needed all my powers not to vomit on Snape's feet.

"Don't worry", he said, "This kind of travelling makes most people sick."

I calmed down a little and took a look around. We were standing on a gravel path that led up to the entrance of a really luxurious manor. The house was old, there was ivy growing everywhere on its walls and over the iron gate right in front of us.

"Where is she? I told her the time we will be back!" Lucius said impatiently.

"I think she's standing in front of her mirror again, practicing the most submissive look for her master", Snape muttered and I didn't quite know if he made fun or if he was just angry.

Lucius just snorted and pushed the gate open. Snape pushed me into a huge entrance hall that was lying in a twilight only lid up by a few candles in some chandeliers at the wall.

"Bellatrix!" Lucius shouted impatiently.

Only a second later a woman appeared on top of the very impressive staircase that led from the hall up to a gallery. Wild black hair framed a very gothic looking face and the clothes she wore made her look like one of the sluts I've always hated. I had that burning feeling that she was determined to spell trouble. I disliked her from the first moment.

"Finally", Lucius muttered, "Is he here?"

She nodded while she eyed me in a way as if she wanted to have me for dinner – on her plate. 'Bitch' I thought.

"Of course he is", she snorted, "He's waiting for her, only the Gods know why!"

"It's none of your business, Bellatrix", Snape said coldly, "He told you that more than once!"

"He's in the fireplace room", she said, still eying me in a very hostile way.

"Come", Snape said and walked over to a door.

I followed him while Lucius hurried up the stairs. Whatever he told Bellatrix, I had no chance to listen, because Snape was in an extreme hurry. They all seemed to be really scared of the Dark Lord. Honestly I felt extremely frightened of what was coming my way. Somebody who was called a Dark Lord was surely no nice person. I bit my lip, tried to get my head together and failed.

He opened a particular door and pushed me into the room, before he hastily closed the door again. Those people were really weird, but I could almost smell the fear all around. That Dark Lord didn't seem to be a very patient and forgiving man. Even though I didn't really like Snape, I hated him for leaving me alone.

"Ah", I heard a voice behind me and turned around. I suddenly felt panic. Because I had been so angry about Snape, I hadn't noticed that I wasn't alone in this room.

There he stood, a tall figure in dark robes, turning his back on me, so I couldn't see his face, just his bald head. He was warming his hands at the fireplace, unnaturally pale and delicate fingers with long finger nails. He radiated so much power that it just nailed me to the point where I was standing. I wanted to move, but I couldn't. It was either his power or my own fear that held me on this spot.

Then he turned his head and looked at me, showed me the face that was engraved in my mind since I had met him for the very first time. His pale skin made me wonder if he had ever seen the sun in his life, it was almost white. On his bald head I saw thin lines that looked like veins. He curled his pale lips to a joyless smile. The creepiest thing about that face was the lack of a human nose, he just had thin nostrils like those of a snake. He eyed me very intensely with his piercing blue eyes. Never before I had seen eyes like these. They were blue like the summer sky and so deep that I could have drowned in them. The fear fell off of me, I could only stare in this odd face and knew that there was something extraordinary happening to me.


	3. Chapter 3

He gazed at me for the eternity of about a minute, the intense look from his eyes left me totally dumbstruck. My heart was beating so loudly that I was sure he could hear it. I hid my shivering hands in the pockets of my trousers and bit my lip to compensate the nervousness. My head was spinning and I so totally had no control over myself. Was that his power? Did he enchant me with his magic? Of course he did, because any other possibility sounded totally ridiculous to me.

Then he walked over to me, leaving the short distance between us behind to stand right in front of me, so close that I could have touched him – something I would never have dared to do! I don't know what I've expected how that snake-like looking man would smell, but I surely would never have thought of a decent fragrance of lavender. When he moved, the fabric of his robes rustled quietly, a sound that chased shivers down my spine.

"So they finally found you…" he whispered. I just nodded, not able to find a proper reply to his statement.

His face was very close to mine, he held me caught with those indescribably beautiful eyes. Then he lifted his right hand and laid it on my cheek. The skin of the fingers that stroked my cheek was cold, but by far warmer than I had imagined. With his touch my heart skipped a beat, I almost died from the feelings that totally turned me upside down. I really tried to get my head together, but he didn't let me. It felt as if his magical powers surrounded me completely, holding me still in a world that belonged to him and him alone.

After a short while he broke the spell, took his hand away to bury it in the sleeve of his robes, and stepped a little backwards. Not much, but enough to not touch me anymore.

"What…" I couldn't find words to phrase a proper question.

He smiled a thin smile that didn't show his teeth, but it drew some wrinkles around his eyes, then he smirked.

"Don't be afraid", he reassured me, "I won't do anything you don't like."

I inhaled deeply, trying to calm myself down. I didn't really work, so I breathed again, closed my eyes for a second, wondering if I was caught in a strange dream. But when I opened them again he was still standing there.

"Was… Was that magic?" I finally dared to ask him a question.

My voice sounded raspy and thus showed all of my insecurity.

"Everything I do is magic", he replied, "What do you expect from a wizard?"

I swallowed hard, still trying to find the right words, but the sound of his clear and soft voice didn't make things easier for me.

"So it's true? Wizardry exists?" I wanted to know.

"Of course it does", he admitted, "But normally we don't care for the non-magical people. Most of us find them quite disgusting."

"If that is so, why am I here?"

I checked the feelings I had, and I was still surprised about the fact that he didn't scare me at all.

"Because I wanted you to be here", he just said.

That didn't really help me, it didn't even make sense. Everything that happened to me on that day seemed like a strange dream and I found myself wondering if I wanted to wake up from it or not. The wizard made me curious, I wanted to find out more about his world, no, correction, about him. He was so impressing as he stood there, upright with the fabric of his robes flowing all around him. Those robes were by all means beautiful and elegant, and they gave him the powerful looks of an evil warlord. I couldn't help but admire him. And I knew that it would fulfill the worst clichés if I fell for him. So I decided to avoid falling for him with all my might.

"Why didn't you let that man kill me in the restaurant three days ago?"

It really took all the courage I could find in me to ask him this question. But I needed to know the reason, I needed this information to decide how I would go on. Of course he had promised not to harm me, but that didn't mean that I trusted him. The first rule of survival for a woman in this world is to never trust strangers.

"I don't quite know", he admitted, "It just felt right."

Now I was really totally surprised. I mean, look at that: He and the others had killed every single person in that restaurant, but let me live just because it felt right to him. That sounded just wrong.

"It just felt right", I thus repeated his words.

In the meantime he had walked over to the fireplace again to continue the task of warming his hands.

"Cold", he said after a while of inconvenient silence, "I'm always feeling so cold…."

Now that was really weird. He had send some really scary guys to stop a train and kidnap me, just to tell me that he felt cold? I really doubted his sanity. And I didn't have the slightest clue what to say. So I lowered my head and began to stare at the marble floor, waiting for him to do anything.

"Come over", he said after a while.

I perfectly knew that there was no use in declining. If I didn't follow what sounded like an order, he surely would make me obey by using his magic. I didn't want to risk that, I wanted to keep that little bit of control I still had over the situation. So I went over to him to stand next to him at the fireplace. I still buried my hands in the pockets of my trousers, because I didn't want him to see how severely he had destroyed my self-confidence. There was a voice in my head that wanted me to give in to everything that man asked of me. But there was also another voice who was still fighting his charms very successfully.

We stood there for a while in complete silence. The only sound I heard was the crackling fire and his breath. I tried to figure out my options. After all it was totally against my will that they had brought me here and I honestly should have wanted to run away and hide, to get back where I belonged. I wasn't even surprised that my feelings were different and didn't fit what people might call common sense. There was nothing about my life that really made me want to go back. If this peculiar man, this powerful wizard, this Dark Lord wanted me to be here, why shouldn't I stay? Why shouldn't I give the whole concept a try? I've survived bad times, I've been through so much shit – things just couldn't get worse. And if he wasn't here to harm me, it wasn't that bad, was it?

After I had come to this point and because I guessed the reason why he told me he was feeling cold, I finally reached out my hand to grab for his. I took his hands in mine to warm them. He turned to me with so much surprise in his eyes that I almost had to laugh. Of course I didn't laugh. That moment was magical and I didn't want to destroy it by behaving like a stupid girl.

I really don't know what was happening to me that made me give in to him. Give in, not fall. Here I stood, holding the hands of a total stranger, and felt perfectly OK. I laid the blame on his magic, tried to convince myself that he made me holding his hands with his powers. I had never been that sort of women who gave in to the charms of a man so easily, and I wasn't out to change my ways on that special day.

"My name is Voldemort", he whispered to me, looking into my eyes again, "I'm the Lord…"

I swallowed, closed my eyes and tried to analyze this. He was the Lord – Lord of what? And what kind of name was Voldemort? It sounded beautiful, powerful, special – and it somehow really fitted him.

I whispered my name to him and moved a step closer. Now we stood as close together as possible, feeling each other's breath on our faces. I felt the cool silk of his robes as I still held his hands, now in front of his chest. I had to look up to him, because he was much taller than me, but I didn't feel small when I looked up to him, I felt equal, but I didn't know why. Not then. And in that intimate moment I didn't pay attention to the country and people he was the Lord of. I felt being a part of a very private world that belonged to him, I knew that I had crossed a line nobody ever had crossed before for reasons I didn't know.

The situation felt awkward. I didn't know how to get out of this moment without making the situation feel even more awkward. Whatever was happening next, I left it to his decision, because I wasn't able to make up my mind myself.

He loosened the grip of his hands, but stayed where he was standing. For a second I saw some kind of insecurity in his eyes as if he didn't know what to do next either.

"Never…" he whispered, paused for a second, and went on: "Never before I have allowed somebody to touch me…"

"Never?"

I knew that this was a stupid question, but I really had to fight for words. All of this was so awkward and strange to me, I just didn't know how to react. The only thing I could do to show him some respect was bringing some distance between us. He didn't like that move of mine.

"Don't!" he commanded.

It really sounded like an order. I was sure that he was used to talk to people like that and that it was normal to him to make them obey his orders. I had never been good in obeying orders, and I didn't want to obey another of his, not again. He stepped closer to me again, somewhere between the fireplace and the door. His eyes were so piercing, they could have nailed me to the floor. But I held my ground and stared back at him. I finally calmed down and put my head together. I didn't want to let this end as a spontaneous love story, because I knew that I would have regretted it by all means.

"What do you want from me, Voldemort?" I asked him in a hard voice.

First he looked surprised, then he chuckled.

"I don't know", he said, "Tell me!"

"How am I supposed to tell you why I am here?" I said, a little anger boiling somewhere in my stomach, "You were the one who brought me here, remember?"

He came even closer, as close as possible. So close that I could almost feel the fabric of his robes on my skin again. I took another step backwards and hoped that I still had enough space between me and the wall to take some more steps backwards if necessary.

"There's something about you…" he hissed, "Something I can't figure out! What have you done? What is your magic?"

Now it was on me to look surprised. What the hell was he talking about?

"I have done nothing", I said, "I was just cowering under a table hoping that you or your gang wouldn't kill me!"

Just as I had expected he moved closer to me again, but this time I didn't back away. I wasn't going to lose my face here! His eyes caught mine again and we stared at each other stubbornly for more than a minute. Then he sighed and let me go, walked back to the fireplace. He turned his back on me and remained silent for a while. In a moment when I already had started to think he would never talk to me again, he began to speak in a very low voice.

"When I saw you there, I just knew that there's something about you, something special. I couldn't figure out what it was, and I still don't understand it. I let you live because I'm curious, and now that you're here, I can still feel it, and still I can't explain it. I was hoping that you could explain it to me, but as it seems I was wrong. I will have to ask other wizards…"

"What does it feel like?" I wanted to know without hiding my curiosity. It was about me, so why shouldn't I be curious?

He turned to me again, eyed me as if he had never seen me before. I somehow knew that he felt attracted to me, but I also was sure that he would never tell me. Little did I know!

"Since I've seen you at that restaurant I can't stop thinking of you. I want to learn to know you, find out everything about you…" he said, then turned away from me again.

Fortunately he didn't see the smile on my face, because I didn't want to offend or make fun of him. If it hadn't felt so absurd, I would have said he had fallen in love with me. But somehow we were both not that kind of people who would spontaneously fall in love with a stranger. We both were no teenagers anymore.

"And what do you expect me to do now?" I finally wanted to know, "You kidnapped me, now I'm here. Am I a prisoner?"

I admit, that I grew a little impatient. I never had liked situations like these. Talking to strangers was normally pure horror to me, I never really knew how to behave or how to find proper words to make a conversation keep going. And now I was confronted with the strangest kind of stranger I had ever seen.

"No, you're not a prisoner… " he said thoughtfully.

"So I can go?"

"If you want to go I won't hold you back."

That certain voice in my head was well aware of the fact that I could end this awkward situation now, I only had to turn around and leave. But there were several reasons to stay. First I didn't know where I was, it was dark outside and this house seemed to be situated in the middle of nowhere. Second I was far too curious about Voldemort. Third I seemed to have gone totally mental.

"And if I – purely hypothetical – said I want to stay?" I asked him frankly.

He startled, hurried over to me and stared at me in a way hard to explain.

"You… you want to stay?"

It seemed as if he would never have guessed this suggestion of mine. He was totally agitated, and if it hadn't been him but any other guy, I would have found his reaction ridiculous. But he seemed to crave for my presence.

I shrugged. "Yeah, why not? Let's give it a try."

What the hell was going on with me? This time I was totally sure that it wasn't his magic that made me make my decisions. It was a weird mix of curiosity and lust for adventures. As I said before: I had nothing to lose.

My quite undefined reaction unsettled him. He gazed into my eyes searching for the lie in my words, but because I wasn't lying, he couldn't find it. This time it was on me to be courageous enough to touch him. I raised my hand and touched his cheek like he had touched mine a while ago. I felt him shiver under my touch. His whole appearance was excitement and uncertainty, he just didn't know how to handle this new situation.

"I… I think you need a place to sleep…" he murmured nervously.

I really seemed to turn him upside down, and if it hadn't been so serious, it surely would have been funny. And yes, it was serious. I never played games. I had been hurt not only once by people playing games with me, so I had sworn to never do this to anyone.

It was an odd situation, because I really didn't know what to think or feel now. That's why I decided to let the whole story evolve and to look where it would lead me to in the end.

"Yeah, I think so…" I replied.

We still stood very close to each other, my hand still resting on his cheek, his eyes still piercing at me, and we were totally unable to make a move. I've never had experienced being so totally caught in the moment. This time it was on me to break the spell. I lowered my hand and backed away, but I still couldn't break away from his gaze.

After another minute of staring at each other and not moving I felt that I had to make up my mind. It was on me to make the next move, because he was totally overwhelmed with a situation like this. I realized that this was the very first time he let somebody get this close to him, so I had to help him out.

I laid my free hand on his chest, right there where the heart is. I cracked a smile when I felt how fast this heart was beating, a proof that his excitement was true.

"Why are you so shy, Voldemort?" I whispered.

He shook his head slightly. "I'm not shy…"

"Of course you are", I disagreed.

I grabbed his inner robe and pulled him closer to me, my hand on his cheek forced him to lower his head to me. He gasped, lost for words. His eyes looked at me with a mix of curiosity and …fear – could it be that somebody who called himself a Dark Lord feared a tender touch? It was unbelievable…

He almost panicked when my lips met his, but I didn't let him go. I knew that if I didn't kiss him now, I would never have the courage to do it. I set all my chances on one card.

His lips tasted sweet, something I wouldn't have guessed, but there was so much about this man I wouldn't have guessed, so I didn't wonder anymore.

The kiss lasted only for a few seconds, but it was the truest kiss I had ever given to somebody. I still didn't know what it was that drew me so close to this peculiar man, but it felt right, so why shouldn't I give in and enjoy it? And there was something else I felt – the air started to prickle. Not in that metaphoric way we know, no, I really felt the static all around me, creeping over my skin and through my veins, as if I was standing in the middle of a huge magnetic field. It was exciting.

When I finally let him go I saw something in his eyes that really made me feel at ease. He could have been angry because of my meddlesomeness, but he wasn't. He looked so totally relieved, it was really touching.

"Good?" I asked cautiously. He just nodded, still totally lost for words.

"Is this the feeling you had when you saw me first?" I wanted to know, and he nodded again.

Never before I had experienced the possibility of making a man speechless just by kissing him softly. That was totally new to me.

He pulled me into his embrace very carefully as if he feared to hurt me, and again I gave in to him. Why the hell did he make me so weak?

"Was that magic?" I asked him, "I mean, the static I felt while kissing you. Was that magic?"

"Yes", he whispered, "That was magic."


	4. Chapter 4

I was standing at the window of a really luxurious bedroom and gazed out into the night. On the horizon I could already see the first light of day, so it was already morning. I hadn't slept that night, hadn't even taken my clothes off. Although I was tired like hell I knew that I wouldn't find any sleep.

After the kiss and the awkward situation afterwards Voldemort had brought me to this room. We just had had a little small talk, he had told me to get some sleep, then he had left me alone. We both knew that we had gone too far when we had allowed ourselves to fall into the moment. I shouldn't have given in to him so much. That was so totally not me and I somehow was scared by myself.

I didn't know anything about him, not the slightest bit, only that he was the Dark Lord of whatsoever, that he was a wizard and that all the others in this house feared him. I just couldn't figure out what this all was for, what his true intentions were. I just wasn't able to understand anything that had happened since I had been kidnapped on the train. Lucius and Snape seemed to be Voldemort's accessories in whatever he was doing. It was clear that somebody who called himself a Dark Lord wasn't that kind of meek king we know from fairytales. 'Dark Lord' sounded more like an evil warlord or a dictator, or however they called a man like this in their world.

Wiping the tiredness from my eyes I made a decision. Because of the already dawning morning I wanted to look if I could get some breakfast in this house or, even better, somebody who I could talk to and ask some questions. I really hated the thought of being helpless and not having control of what was happening to me.

Without a sound I left the room and scurried down the corridor until I reached the staircase. I remained in total silence and strained my ears, but there was nothing to hear. It seemed as everybody was still sleeping, the whole house was resting in deep silence. Giving in to the logical thought that the kitchen was most likely on the first floor or in the cellar, I hurried down the stairs. When I finally reached the impressive entrance hall I noticed a decent smell of coffee in the air. The kitchen wasn't far away. So I strained my ears again and finally heard some voices murmuring. I decided to follow their sound until I reached a wooden door at the end of a corridor that led to the cellar.

"Bella, you should really calm down now!" a very harsh female voice shouted behind the door, "You know how he reacts when anyone doubts his decisions."

It seemed that there was a conversation going on about the Dark Lord, so I remained in front of the door and listened very attentively. Maybe this would give me the chance to find out more about him without asking awkward questions.

"I don't know what's going on with him! This filthy muggle has done something to him!" Bellatrix, whose voice I'd already heard the other day, scolded angrily.

The other woman sighed. "What could she do to him? She's just a muggle and he's the most powerful wizard of all!"

I guessed that 'muggle' was their description of a non-magical person. Their way of saying the word told me very clearly that they didn't like muggles, a fact that made me wonder even more why they had brought me to this house.

"Cissy!" Bellatrix shouted, "He let her live, her alone of all the people in the restaurant! There must be a reason!"

"You haven't been there, Bella, you don't know what really happened", Cissy retorted.

Bella snorted. "I've been talking to Lucius! He was there!"

They remained silent for a while, just like me. I didn't even dare to breathe, because I perfectly knew that I would get into severe trouble if they found out I was listening at the door. Especially Bellatrix didn't seem like a very friendly, understanding and patient person to me.

The women behind the door remained silent for a while, then I heard a chair being pushed back and a piece of china break, before Bellatrix' scream nearly knocked me off my feat!

"He's MINE, Cissy, MINE! Nobody else will ever put her hands on the Dark Lord but ME!"

Cissy sighed and it sounded quite annoyed. "Bella, you of all people should know best that he will never be able to return your obsessive love!"

"Says who?" Bellatrix growled.

"The Dark Lord, being conceived under the influence of Amortentia, is not able to love. It's not possible. Severus told me about that not only once. So whatever you feel for him, it's pointless."

"That is a lie!" Bellatrix retorted, "I know that he feels something for me!"

Cissy sighed again. It was obvious that Bellatrix annoyed her to the brim. "Why do you think so?"

"I'm his favourite Death Eater!" Bellatrix hissed.

"Yes", Cissy replied, "Because you're always first when it's about to kill and torture people. He likes your qualities as his minion, he gives nothing on you as a woman."

Another piece of china broke and I heard somebody pacing up and down very hastily.

"So you believe that he won't ever return my feelings?" Bellatrix finally asked, unsuccessfully suppressing her wild anger.

"I'm sorry for telling you this, sister, but he never will."

I had listened to the argument very attentively. When I had seen Bellatrix' bad mood after I had arrived at the manor the other day I had already known that she would see me as an opponent or worse. My gut feeling had never betrayed me, especially when it was about people who hated me. I wasn't even worried about her jealousy, even though I knew that it would be a problem soon. No, I was much more shocked by what I heard about Voldemort, because it was so totally contrary to what I had experienced with him. The way he had behaved told me very distinctly that he felt more than sympathy for me, even though I couldn't figure out the reasons. This morning I didn't have the slightest clue what Amortentia was, but I knew that I had to find out about it. It was really necessary to find out more about him before I met him again. But at the moment there was something much more important to do: Running!

Bellatrix pushed the door open, and because I was still standing there eavesdropping, the door hit my forehead very hard and it needed some efforts to not fall over.

"YOU!" Bellatrix screamed, "What the hell are YOU doing here? Listening to private conversations is very impolite, even a filthy muggle should know that!"

She was screaming so loudly in my face that I was totally lost for words for the moment. It didn't matter anyway if I replied or not, she wouldn't listen. I stumbled backwards, but in the moment I turned around to run up the corridor I heard her screaming again: "CRUCIO!"

The curse hit me all of a sudden and threw me onto the floor. My whole body started to ache so much that I couldn't think even one clear thought. It felt as if all my limbs were about to be pulled off while the raging pain flooded my brain. I couldn't help but scream in agony. But no matter how much pain I felt, I didn't turn my back on her, I looked straight into her eyes. Dark eyes with so much disgust in them as I had never seen before. The dark locks that framed her pale face were totally tousled, the whole woman looked insane in a very scary way.

I can't say how long the pain lasted, maybe it was an hour, maybe just a few seconds. Alas, after a while I heard another voice through the haze of unbearable pain.

"Bellatrix!" the cold clear voice shouted, "Leave her alone!"

I was expecting that she wouldn't obey that order, so I wasn't wondering about another Crucio. But this time it really lasted only a few seconds, before I heard that particular voice again.

"Expelliarmus!"

As I was lying on my back I could see what happened to Bellatrix. A red flash of light hit her wand and threw it to the next wall where it fell to the floor. The pain ended immediately. However, I didn't even try to stand up, because I had that certain feeling of not being able to stand upright. Every single nerve was still prickling, an echo of the indescribable pain I just went through.

Voldemort cowered next to me and looked at me in deep concern.

"Are you alright?" he asked in a low voice.

"Y… Yeah, I think so…" I murmured.

That seemed to be enough of an answer for Voldemort, because now he turned to Bellatrix and eyed her angrily for half an eternity.

"If you ever dare to touch her again, Bellatrix, you can be sure about the fact that I will kill you. I recommend you to take my warning seriously", he hissed.

Bellatrix lowered her head. "Yes, my Lord. Of course, my Lord…"

"Good", Voldemort growled, "Now go! There'll be a Death Eater meeting tonight at the usual time. I expect you to participate."

"Yes, my Lord", Bellatrix confirmed, her voice just a whisper, then she picked up her wand from the floor, turned around and hurried away.

Voldemort stood up and looked at the other woman who had been standing there just watching the scenery without saying a word or even moving.

"Narcissa", he hissed, "Please take care of her", his eyes met mine for a second before he turned back to her. "She needs a breakfast. I recommend you to treat her well."

"As you wish, my Lord", Narcissa replied without showing any emotion.

Voldemort looked at me thoughtfully, then he turned around and went away into the direction Bellatrix had chosen.

"Come", Narcissa just said, so I stood up, needed a second to find my balance, and followed her through the door.

It was a small dining room from where the kitchen could be seen. It looked quite different from what I had expected. First the room was much smaller than I would have guessed in a noble house like this, second there was none of the usual kitchen staff to be seen. Instead of that there were about a dozen creatures I had never seen before. They were small like children, had ridiculously big ears and eyes, and they were ugly as the night.

"What the…" I couldn't resist a comment.

Narcissa looked at me and raised a brow as if she was thinking about how stupid I looked at the moment. Of course I looked stupid, standing there staring at those creatures, and I surely was a total mess, totally different from Narcissa.

"House elves", she said, "Very useful! Don't ask!"

I just nodded and sat down at the table by a small window. She sat opposite to me and flicked her fingers to one of those house elves who immediately scurried over to the table.

"Madam?" the creature asked. I watched his behavior curiously. There seemed to be a very strict order in this house that told everybody clearly where they belonged. The house elves surely were on the same level as cockroaches.

"Bring breakfast for her!" Narcissa commanded, the elf bowed so low that its ears touched the ground, then it hurried away very hastily. "And don't forget a big mug of coffee!" she added.

After she had given her orders Narcissa looked at me very sternly. She was a beautiful woman, but not young anymore, just like me. There were wrinkles around her tired grey eyes, and there were some gray strands among her blonde hair.

"Who are you?" she asked me in a neutral voice. There was no more cold or anger in it, she really seemed to be interested.

I told her my name. She shrugged and nodded. I was quite relieved that she hadn't heard of me before.

Before she could ask anything else the house elf scurried over to the table to bring my breakfast – a really big mug full of steaming coffee and a plate full of scrambled eggs and bacon. Now that I had the smell of food creeping up my nostrils I finally felt that I was hungry. I hadn't recognized this before, because my mind was so overwhelmed by all the things I experienced since yesterday that I hadn't paid attention to my body's needs. Narcissa gave me an encouraging look, so I dared to start to eat.

"Thank you for the breakfast", I murmured while I was eating.

"You don't have to be thankful", she said, "I just obey the Dark Lord's order." Still she didn't stop eying me.

"What does the Dark Lord see in you?" she asked after a while.

"I don't know, honestly", I replied and shrugged.

Narcissa sighed. "You should better keep out of my sister's way, I think she's capable of ignoring the Dark Lord's order this time. She normally obeys all of his orders, but she hates it when somebody interferes with her life."

"It's not that I wanted to interfere", I retorted, "I was almost killed by those…" I agonized about the word, "…Death Eaters, then I was kidnapped on a train ride. I don't have the slightest clue what he wants from me!"

"Bellatrix believes that you influence him somehow", Narcissa explained her sister's thoughts.

I snorted. "Me? I don't know anything about magic! I have done nothing! I think the question is about what he's doing to me!"

Narcissa ran her hand through her hair and gazed out of the window for a while before she spoke again. "My sister is desperately in love with the Dark Lord, although she knows that he doesn't return her feelings…"

"Why is that?" I wanted to know.

She looked at me sternly. "He was conceived while his father was under the influence of a love potion. It's said that those children are not able to feel love. It's an old magical law."

"Have there ever been any exceptions?" I asked curiously.

I needed to know this by all means, because if this law applied in every case there was something really weird happening.

"I've never heard of any", Narcissa explained, "But there are not many cases written down, so nothing is certain… What makes you think there's an exception?"

I only shrugged, because I wasn't ready to tell anyone about what I had experienced the other day. The only one I would talk to about this matter was Voldemort himself, as soon as I met him again.

"That curse Bellatrix cast on me…" I continued the conversation after a while.

"It's the torturing curse, her most favourite", she hissed deprecatorily.

There seemed to be something going on between those sisters. Narcissa seemed to disapprove with some things Bellatrix did. Maybe this was a chance for me to find somebody I could trust. Or something similar to trust, because I was used to never trust anybody at all.

"You don't approve to everything she does, do you?" I asked cautiously.

She shook her head and looked even more tired now than she had already looked before.

"She's an insane psychopath", Narcissa sighed, "I know, I shouldn't say something like that about my sister, but unfortunately this is just the truth. She always had a very …complicated character, but since she's been in Azkaban for fourteen years… Something in her mind is broken. Her torturing and killing isn't the worst. I'm much more afraid of her desperate love for the Dark Lord, because I know that it will destroy her someday. It's not healthy to feel too much affection for him…"

"And what if he feels affection", I tossed in, "Would that be healthy?"

She eyed me very attentively as if she was trying to read my mind.

"I have never seen him this way. I only know him as a cold and manic sociopath. His mental state is not so much different from my sister's…"

Suddenly she looked very startled. "I shouldn't talk like that!"

I shook my head. "Don't worry, I won't tell him…"

She exhaled and looked a little relieved, just a little, not much.

"What is this… Azkaban?" I asked to diffuse the tension.

"It's the most terrifying prison of the wizarding world", Narcissa explained, "Nobody leaves it with a sane mind…"

"Would you mind telling me why she's been there for fourteen long years?"

I really wanted to know it, because nobody gets imprisoned for such a long time at such a horrible place for nothing.

"That is a very long story", Narcissa replied, "But I think you should know at least some of the truth about what happened. Maybe then it's easier for you to understand certain things…"

"OK…" I said thoughtfully, "As I don't have anything else to do I think I have enough time to listen to what you can tell me. If you have the time as well, of course."

Narcissa sighed tiredly, stood up and walked over to the second window of the room. She stared outside for a while and all my hopes started to vanish. I had really seen a chance to see a little clearer in all this mess, but Narcissa seemed to regret her offer already.

"She has always been loyal to the Dark Lord", she began, her voice not much louder than a whisper, "When he disappeared all of a sudden fifteen years ago, most of his followers stated that they only were following him because he had made them to. Only a few were put to trial. My sister voluntarily went to Azkaban because she hoped that the Dark Lord would reward her for her loyalty as soon as he's back."

"Where did he go?" I asked quite confused.

Narcissa turned to me again, arching a brow. "Hasn't he told you _anything_ about himself?"

I shook my head and shrugged. "To be honest, he told me _nothing_…"

She started to pace up and down while she made up her mind to tell me more.

"The Dark Lord had control over the wizarding world for more than ten years then. He was on the peak of his powers, but one night something happened that we still don't understand and probably never will. He tried to kill a little boy, the killing curse rebounded on him and destroyed his body."

I stared at her in horror. "How… So he was dead?"

She rubbed her eyes tiredly before she replied. "No, something of him was still alive… I don't know much about that, but when he had been gone, all his opponents praised the child for freeing their world from the Dark Lord. All the Lord's followers were hunted down and got imprisoned, most of them came free – such was my husband – but a few went to Azkaban. I told you that my sister was one of them."

Narcissa sat down opposite to me and stared on the table. I could feel how her emotions raged inside of her, because her hands were trembling and there was a deep furrow on her forehead.

"Ssh", I said softly and laid my hands on hers to calm her. She lifted her head and gave me a fleeting smile. Then she pulled her hands back and stood up.

"I'm sorry", she mumbled, "I can't tell you more. It's on him to tell you all of it. I shouldn't have said anything…"

Then she looked at me with that arrogant expression on her face again that she had had when Bellatrix was torturing me.

"Go to you room!" she said in a harsh voice, "Wait there for him."

I was confused, even shocked, by the sudden change of her mood, but I supposed her fear of the Dark Lord as the reason, so I wasn't angry. So I stood up and walked over to the door. Before I left the room I turned to Narcissa again.

"Thank you for the breakfast", I said and tried to smile, but she didn't respond on that, so I left.

I made my way back to my room very carefully, looked cautiously around every corner and sneaked down the corridors without making a sound. I honestly feared to meet Bellatrix again. If what her sister said about her was right, she really wasn't sane anymore, and I knew perfectly what an insane mind is able to do. Another encounter with her torturing curse was definitely not on my list for today. What I really wanted was to talk to Voldemort again, because he was the key to solve all those riddles I had encountered since the day I first met him.

I quietly passed a door ajar from where I heard some male voices murmur, but I didn't understand a word. On my mission to find out more about this special place I should have listened more attentively, but I didn't want to be caught eavesdropping again. Once a day was pretty enough.

I gladly arrived at my room without getting into any new trouble. I had decided to do what Narcissa told me. At least she had been friendly to me, and even though she had only obeyed her Lord's order, she had been the one who had saved me from starving. And she had given me enough to contemplate about for a while.

I lay down on the bed without taking my clothes off. Still I was tired like hell, but with all the raging emotions and all the things to think about I wasn't able to calm down enough to fall asleep. So I let my thoughts drift, and as usual in the last weeks, they drifted to him.

Voldemort.

I would have given a kidney for being able to understand what this was all about. Narcissa hadn't told me much, but just the thought of how it must feel to be hit by the killing curse and see the own body being destroyed was horrible. I wondered how he had lived on and what he had done to get his body back. Otherwise… I had experienced moments when I would have been thankful if my body just had vanished.

There was something about Voldemort, something I had sensed when I had touched him. He was a broken soul, just like me, and maybe this was the reason why he felt so attracted to me. All of a sudden I felt deep compassion for him. I was sure that I hadn't been conceived under the influence of a love potion, but I was just as much not able to love as he was.

Having arrived at this point I knew that I had to give it a try, that I had to give him a chance, because we both deserved one. Wherever this would lead to – it would be better than everything I had before.

Even though I put myself much more into the danger of being tortured by Bellatrix again. Every chance has a price.


	5. Chapter 5

I must have fallen asleep at some point, because when I opened my eyes after a while, night had already fallen. I didn't feel any better than before my sleep, but my thoughts were a little clearer now. I stood up carefully and looked around in the dark room. There was only one candle in a chandelier on a small table in the corner, but I couldn't find any lighter. I didn't wonder about that, because a person who has a wand surely has no need for a lighter, but unfortunately I didn't have a wand. I sighed, rubbed my eyes tiredly and walked over to the window to take a look outside. There was no moon in the sky, but so far away from the next town the sky was clear enough to see countless stars. I had to make up my mind about what I was going to do next. I was well aware of Narcissa's order to stay in my room until he came to me, but as it was surely late I didn't expect him to visit me anymore. I ran my hand through my hair and struggled with my thoughts for a while. At the end of this endless chaotic train of thought that always rushed through my head in high speed I opened the door as quietly as possible and stepped out on the dark corridor. I listened attentively into the darkness and when I didn't hear a sound I scurried to the staircase, where there were finally some candles lid, but it was still dim enough that it didn't hurt my eyes. I remembered that Voldemort had told Bellatrix about a Death Eater meeting in the evening, so it was most likely not over yet. If I only had known what time it was, but I had totally lost my sense of time. I sneaked down the stairs into the entrance hall that was lying in a twilight lid up by only a few candles. How could it be that those magical gifted people were only able to use candles to bring some light into the darkness? I would have guessed at least some magical fire that was hovering in the air or something similar, but not just boring chandeliers. There was indeed a lot to learn for me in the future… If there was any future for me in this world, that is.

Now I stood in the middle of the entrance hall and strained my ears. There was not one single sound to be heard which made me come to the conclusion that it was already late at night. Then I startled heavily when I heard a door slam. I hurried over to a really ugly statue near the staircase to hide behind. Only seconds later a man in black robes hurried through the hall so fast that his cloak billowed. I recognized the already familiar face of Snape who seemed to be late for an appointment. He opened the door to the fireplace room, went inside and shut it behind him. Now the whole place sank into deep silence again.

Now that I knew where Snape had gone to I sneaked through the hall to the door of the fireplace room. I was well aware that I put myself into incalculable danger when I started eavesdropping again, but my curiosity was by far stronger than prudence. Inside the room I heard several voices talking.

"Severus", a cold and clear voice said, "You're late!"

"My Lord", Snape said, "The assignment you gave me took more time than expected."

"Ah, I understand… Please take your seat. It's indeed time to start the meeting."

Voldemort's voice sounded so different from when I had heard him speaking to me. There was no warmth in it, it sounded almost as if it wasn't human at all. That fitted much more the facts Narcissa had told me.

For a short while I heard no noise from the room behind the door. I've already begun to think that they had sealed it with a spell when I finally heard another familiar voice speak.

"My Lord", Bellatrix voice was so low that I really had to take efforts to understand her.

"Is there something you want to say, Bellatrix?" Now Voldemort's voice sounded even colder as if he still was by all means unpleased by her behavior in the morning.

"I want to apology for what happened this morning", Bellatrix said in an extremely submissive tone, "I know that my reaction was inappropriate."

"Well, Bellatrix", Voldemort said slowly, "You know that there's no apology for what you've done, so you will be punished for it at the right time."

"My Lord", she began again.

"I recommend you to remain silent for the rest of the meeting", Voldemort cut her off, "You disappointed me by disobeying my orders. Take your time to think about the severity of your action. Keep in mind that your life is worth nothing."

His voice sounded so cold and dismissive that it made a shiver run down my spine. He wasn't angry at her, oh no, he despised her. I was sure that this was much more painful to Bellatrix than any other way of punishment I could think of, possibly even more painful than the Crutiatus curse.

After a while of silence I heard a voice speak that I recognized as Lucius': "My Lord, I know it's not my business, but may I ask what Bellatrix is referring to?"

The room fell into complete silence again. My heart pounded loudly, because I perfectly knew what Bellatrix was talking about. I was afraid of Voldemort's answer.

"Well, many of you don't know it yet, but this is a good chance to let you know. We have a guest in this noble house now. I recommend you all that you leave her alone. What I told Bellatrix this morning applies on all of you. If anybody touches her I will find a proper punishment. She's my own property. You only talk to her if I tell you to. And I don't want to see a wand pointed at her. You should be aware of the fact that I always know what's happening to her. I cast a protection charm on her after I had to realize that Bellatrix isn't able to hold her temper."

"Who is she and why is she here?" an unfamiliar voice asked.

"That is none of your business, McNair" he was cut off by Voldemort who seemed to become more and more impatient.

After another awkward moment of silence Voldemort finally changed the topic.

"Draco, I've heard from your father that you can't wait for your first mission, now that you finally received your dark mark from me…"

I heard somebody clear his throat nervously before a young man's voice began to stutter. "M.. my Lord, I… yes, I want to go on a mission…"

The way Draco spoke told me very clearly that he wasn't there voluntarily, and I really felt sorry for him. I was also terrified by the fact that obviously his father, whoever that was, had forced him to work for the Dark Lord. Sometimes the world is really disgusting, but that wasn't new to me.

"So you're going back to Hogwarts in a few days, aren't you?" Voldemort asked an obviously rhetorical question. The young man didn't say a word but because the Dark Lord went on speaking to him I guessed he must have nodded.

"I have a task for you, boy. A task that will show if you're truly loyal to your Lord…"

Voldemort fell silent for a short while and I was sure that poor Draco was almost dying from fear.

"Well, Draco, your father has surely told you about what I think has to happen to Albus Dumbledore", the Dark Lord finally continued.

Draco cleared his throat again. "Yes, yes… my Lord", he only murmured.

"Do you think you're brave enough to kill him?" The way he asked this question showed me that it was purely rhetorical again. The poor boy wouldn't get a chance to choose.

"I… I should kill the headmaster?"

Draco was so horrified that he seemed to have totally forgotten who he was talking to.

Voldemort laughed joylessly. "As far as I know is there no other person with this name at Hogwarts, Draco."

I was no less horrified than Draco. I concluded that Hogwarts seemed to be something like a school or university. Judging by his voice he was young enough to be a student, and Voldemort demanded him to kill the headmaster. I almost choked about that thought. Why the hell should that happen? And why did Voldemort send a student instead of doing it himself? I had sensed so much power in his presence that I was sure he could kill with just a thought. I was sure that there were people out there who deserved to die, but I just hated the thought that Voldemort planned a murder so coldly.

I leaned at the wall next to the door and sank to the floor. My heart was beating fast while my thoughts were racing. I realized that every time I heard Voldemort talk to somebody else than me it was somehow about killing and punishing. It was so disgusting that I really doubted my own sanity for staying instead of leaving when he had given me the chance to.

I had really enough for one day, so I decided not to listen to that secret meeting any longer. I stood up carefully and cleared away as soon as possible, ran upstairs and returned to my room, where I sat down on the bed and tried to calm down. I couldn't understand myself anymore. It seemed so unbelievable that I – I of all people – had given in to this most evident psychopath. I remembered Narcissa telling me that he was in a very similar state of mind as her sister Bellatrix. A man who ordered a student to kill his headmaster and threatened everybody to be killed if they didn't obey his orders was surely out of his mind. Gosh, and I had almost fallen in love with him! I cerebrated how I could solve this problem without putting my life into danger, and there was only one way. I had to leave this awful place as soon as possible before anybody was able to stop me. I definitely couldn't stay here any longer!

Then again… My thoughts found back to Voldemort, to his piercing eyes, his tender hands and the insecurity I felt when I kissed him. I remembered the feeling I had when I was near him, and that I had promised myself to give him a chance…

But how was I supposed to be with a man with such a twisted mind? I had known psychic damaged men before, but he was definitely the one who was damaged the most.

No, I couldn't stay. I had to break the promise and leave. Now!

Still I sat on the bed and hadn't moved an inch. It was as if my brain wanted to run, but my body refused to obey its orders. Something held me on this spot and I wasn't able to figure out how this could happen.

"Goddammit!" I finally said aloud, shook my head heavily and stood up.

It was over, time to leave. Better now than later, better now than never.

When I opened the door of my room again I heard voices murmuring in the entrance hall. The Death Eater meeting seemed to be over and everyone was ready to leave. For a moment I agonized if I should ask one of them to give me a lift to the next town, but decided that this was one of the worst ideas I ever had. I went back into the room and left the door ajar. I wanted to wait until they had left and the house was lying in silence again. The deeper the night, I thought, the better the chance not to be caught.

I had bad luck – as usual. After most of the people had gone I heard footsteps that were clearly moving upstairs, so somebody was most likely on their way to look if I was still there. I realized that it would have been for the better if I had gone hiding somewhere instead of returning to my room, but I usually had the best ideas in the moment when it was too late.

The door was carefully pushed open and just as I had expected I looked into Voldemort's face.

"May I come in?" he asked very politely.

"Uhm… sure", I said, struck by his politeness.

He entered the room with a silent move without closing the door, then he raised his hand to enlighten the candle on the table. Its light was much brighter than that of a normal candle, so there was again a lot of magic in the air. A part of me noticed that he did magic without a wand, but I didn't wonder about it. Every time I was near him I felt the magic flowing out of his body and occupying everything around. I felt the static again that I had felt when we had kissed.

"So you were eavesdropping" he said with an amused smile.

"You… you knew I was listening?" I asked without even thinking about an excuse.

His smile grew a little wider. "I know everything that is happening in this house, but this time it wasn't too complicated to find out."

"I didn't make a sound", I pointed out.

"You indeed were as silent as possible, but I really wonder that you haven't seen Nagini", he said, still very amused, and pointed his index finger to the floor.

I really must have been totally blind, there was no other explanation for the fact that I had totally overlooked the huge snake that was slithering into the room behind him.

"Bloody hell!" I shouted in surprise and went down on my knees to take a closer look at the beautiful and graceful animal that was watching me interestedly. I wondered why I wasn't scared of it, but somehow I felt that it wouldn't harm me.

"But how… I mean how could the snake tell you that I was standing at the door?" I asked still looking at the snake that indeed seemed to be able to read my mind.

"She talks to me in her own language", he said indifferently, but when he saw the puzzled look on my face he gave me an explanation. "Snakes are the wisest creatures in the world. They're all magical and they're able to talk to those who speak their language, Parseltongue.."

I reached out my hand undauntedly to show Nagini that I meant no harm. She eyed me again and then laid her head in my open hand.

"She likes you", Voldemort said with utter surprise. The snake hissed something in his direction that made him smile again.

I startled when he began to hiss back at her. I've never before had heard something as peculiar as Parseltongue. The sound made me shiver first, but then I found it beautiful.

"You're the first person next to me she likes, and I'd never dreamed that she might like you from the very beginning", he finally translated his communication with Nagini to me.

I was surprised by his words, but I didn't know what to say. So I remained silent and went back to my bed where I sat down and watched Nagini examining the room. Voldemort went to the window and looked outside for several minutes.

"You wanted to leave, didn't you?" he finally asked in a low and very sad voice.

I just nodded. I knew that he noticed it although he had turned his back on me.

"I understand that you're disgusted by what is happening here. I'm sad that you had to find out about it this way. It would have been better if I had told you…" he murmured.

"How would you have tried to tell me the truth? You would just have lied to me, wouldn't you? You must have known that I would be shocked about what I might find out", I said in a very clear voice. All of a sudden I wasn't afraid anymore.

He turned to me again, his eyes full of pain. He was obviously nervous, that's why he ran his hands over his bald head. Why was he so totally different when he was with me? That man was indeed a riddle.

"I don't know how I would have introduced you to my minions and how I would have explained myself to you. I'm just so scared you could pack your bags and leave."

I can't say what it was that made me stand up and walk over to him. Still I felt a deep compassion for him, but there was something else. I had the strong need to comfort him.

He looked at me intensely, and again I felt the broken soul inside his body. It made me sad, because I knew that the reasons for all his coldness and cruelty was lying somewhere beneath. Maybe, just maybe, I could find and heal it. Purely hypothetical, of course.

"Please don't leave!" he said with so much pain in his voice that it almost brought me to tears.

"Would I even be able to leave?' I asked in a raspy voice, "Or would your protection charms keep me from leaving anyway?"

He shook his head and looked at me frantically. "You are no prisoner, I assure you! And my charms are only there to keep you from harm, not from leaving."

We remained silent for a while, both agonizing about the next step.

"Please don't leave" he repeated after I while, this time with even more pain in his voice, "Please stay here with me. I know you can heal me, you're the only one who can…" His voice faded.

I was totally surprised by this open confession of his. I could hardly believe what I heard. It seemed so surreal! How could he believe that I was able to help him? I was surely the last one who could heal a broken soul, since mine was as broken as his.

"I don't know what you expect from me, Voldemort…" I said doubtfully.

"Just… just be here with me", he replied sternly, "It's all I ask of you, nothing more. Just be here with me. You can chase away the omnipresent darkness just by standing here in front of me. I don't know yet how you do it, why you do it so easily, but I want to find out. All I ask for is your presence."

"Voldemort…" I said slowly, "You know I would, I really want to, but it's very hard for me to live in a house full of murderers under your command. You scare the hell out of me!"

He buried his face in his hands and turned around. I could easily sense the emotions that were shaking him, destroying the least bit of confidence. I felt so sorry for him, I suddenly knew that I would feel much worse when I left than when I stayed. What the Death Eaters spent their days with wasn't my business at all. Maybe I was indeed able to close my mind to the things I had found out. It was worth a try. It almost broke my heart to see him so endlessly desperate. I knew that he would never open himself to anyone else, that there was no other space and time where he would show the emotions that seemed to almost suffocate him. I also knew that when he said he needed me, he did it because he saw it as his very last chance to ease his pain.

"OK", I said when I couldn't stand the tension anymore, "Let's give it a try."

He turned back to me, his surprised looking face made me almost smile.

"Really?" he asked with a big amount of fear in his eyes.

"Really", I confirmed and stepped closer to him, "But I want you to answer to all of my questions, to never lie to me. This will only work as long as we're honest to each other."

He just nodded, unable to speak, totally overwhelmed by his raging emotions. I could see the relief in his eyes and when I saw the tear running down his cheek I wasn't surprised. I just knew that I had to keep his secret. Nobody should ever find out that the Dark Lord was a hurt and broken human being.

He embraced me carefully, wrapping me in his outer robe and held me so close I never had thought he would ever do. I laid my arms around him and held him even closer, felt the silk of his inner robe on my cheek, heard his heart beat loudly underneath the robe. I raised my head again to look into his eyes, then kissed the tears on his cheek away.

"Don't you cry, my Lord", I said, "Nobody should ever see you cry! Especially the Death Eaters should never find out about your soft spot."

"I know," he replied, "That's why I show it only to you, my Lady."

He called me his Lady! For heaven's sake, I've never been addressed as a Lady before! This man was really full of weird surprises.

We stood there in silence for several minutes, then he finally broke the spell that surrounded us. It wasn't a magical spell, not really. It was the kind of involuntary raw magic that always arises when two kindred souls come down to their same, very own frequency.

"It's time for you to sleep", he decided. "Tomorrow I'm going to introduce you to my minions. They should know about you, and they should be instructed to how to treat you. I won't let anyone harm you again."

The last sentence sounded like a very serious threat and something told me not to ask further questions, but as always I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

"What about Bellatrix?" I wanted to know.

Voldemort looked at me with such sincerity that I knew even more I shouldn't have asked.

"If she ever dares to point her wand or even her eyes at you, you can be assured that she'll die a very unpleasant death", he explained in a harsh voice.

I swallowed hardly and decided that it was definitely time now to not ask any further questions. My imagination was vivid enough to draw horrible pictures in front of my inner eye. I was sure that there were curses even more destructive than the Cruciatus and I definitely didn't want to witness one of them.

While I was still agonizing, Voldemort sat down on a chair near my bed and looked at me in a very inviting way.

"It's time for you to sleep", he repeated his words from a few minutes ago.

I arched my brow when I looked at him in surprise.

"And what about you?" I asked, confused by the fact that he didn't look like leaving the room anytime soon.

"I will watch over your sleep", he stated, "And I will take care that this time you'll really sleep and don't agonize about things you can't change the whole night again."

"You knew I wasn't sleeping last night?" I asked totally surprised.

Voldemort arched an amused brow and I could see on his face that he was thinking something like 'Muggles don't have the slightest clue what we're able to.' Of course he didn't say it. He put it in friendlier words.

"Of course I do. You should always know that I take care of you, no matter what."

His words touched something in me that produced a very warm feeling in my stomach. Voldemort was the first man ever who really seemed to honestly care about me. I'd never thought I'd ever experience something as weird as this.

Then suddenly there was another thought penetrating my mind, something that I had heard at the secret meeting but had almost forgotten about.

"You've told them I'm your property", I repeated his statement. "I just want you to know that I'm nobody's property but my own."

To my surprise Voldemort wasn't upset about this audacity of mine, instead he chuckled. Would I ever be able to make sense of this man?

"Putting things in those words was the only way to tell them unmistakably what you mean to me, and what it will mean for them if they dare to touch you. Of course you're not my property! I'd never dare to put any kind of pressure on you", he reassured me.

I was kind of relieved although I didn't know if he was really speaking the truth. On the other hand, by now he had never lied to me.

"And what about those protection charms you cast on me", I instead went down my path of curiosity, "How do they work?"

Voldemort, still sitting on that chair very comfortably, nodded slowly. Of course he had known that we'd come to the topic of magic then and again.

"Whenever someone tries to cast a spell on you, it will be rebounded", he explained in short words, "So nothing can harm you."

"Except a bullet", I murmured, but it seemed he didn't hear me.

Slowly I went over to the bed and sat down there, not taking my eyes off of him for even the tenth of a second. I didn't know what to think about his intention to stay the night. Normally I would have tried to send him away by all means, but I didn't fear him staying here at all. Something else that so totally wasn't like me.

He stood up, went over to me and sat down beside me. Thoughtful blue eyes lay upon me while he lay his hand on mine.

"You can sleep", he said softly. "I'll watch over you, and you can be assured I won't touch you. I'd never do anything you don't want. Nobody will ever again do something to you that you don't want."

It was this reassurance of his that he gave with such a stern look. It was this exact moment that made me realize that I had found a safe haven here, a place where I belonged. There was absolutely no reason to run away from here.

I leaned my head on his shoulder tiredly and fell asleep within the same minute.


	6. Chapter 6

_'__Don't go… Please… Don't leave me! Not now! After all we've survived… You can't go and leave me behind…'  
I only felt the tears running down my cheeks to drop on this so well-known beloved face. The world around me vanished, nothing was important anymore.  
'Don't… don't cry, my dear…' I heard softly murmured words.  
Then the voice faded, and with it I was left in total desperate loneliness. _

"Wake up! You have to wake up!"

Through the haze of my dream I heard a familiar voice that surely didn't fit the scene in front of my dream laden eyes. I shook my head vigorously and opened my eyes. The dream had been so realistic that I needed a few seconds to get the hang on where I was. As soon as I saw clearly again I noticed the face right in front of mine.

"I… I guess I had a nightmare…" I murmured uncertainly.

Voldemort frowned and looked at me very tensely. "Obviously", he muttered.

Even though I hadn't wanted to I seemed to have finally fallen asleep, a proof of the fact that you can't stay awake eternally without going insane. My head was aching and I still couldn't get rid of the pictures the dream had left in my mind. I felt horrible.

"Is there a chance to get an aspirin in this house?" I asked hopefully.

Voldemort, now sitting on that particular chair next to my bed again, frowned even more. He didn't have to ask the question I could read on his forehead.

"Something against my horrible headache", I explained.

His face brightened a little and if I wasn't absolutely sure that my headache made me see things not so clearly I would have said that Dark Lord smiled. To my total surprise he whipped out his wand from somewhere underneath his robes and pointed it at me. I automatically tried to back away and hit the wall behind me painfully.

"Don't be afraid", he said in a very soft voice, "I promised you that I won't harm you. I have a spell against your headache."

"Oh, OK…" I murmured, not really knowing if I should trust him or not. He just whispered a word and my headache was gone in an instant.

"Wow… Now that is definitely better than aspirin!" I said and gave him the most thankful smile I was able to produce at that time of day.

"What have you been dreaming of?" he asked, and I'm sure I heard a glimpse of concern in his voice.

"Someone died…" I just said. I said it in a way that told him clearly that I wasn't willing to talk about my nightmare, and to my surprise he understood and accepted it. Who would ever have thought the Dark Lord would be so tactful.

Instead of asking more questions he laid his hand on my cheek and looked in my eyes very sternly. His other hand wiped my totally tousled hair from my face. He touched me so gently that I couldn't help but shiver.

"I will not allow that anything happens to you that makes you scream like you did in that dream!" he said solemnly.

"Then you should, for example, remove Bellatrix from my life", I said with a smirk.

"If you want me to kill her…"

"No!" I interrupted him, "Of course not. I mean, you just can't kill people just because they get on somebody's nerves!"

"I'm the Dark Lord", he said firmly, "I can kill whomever I want whenever I want."

I hadn't thought that we would come to the topic 'Dark Lord' so fast, but now that it was on the table it was time to talk about it. Now that my headache was gone and I was wide awake, I was ready to face whatever I might find out today.

"If I asked you some questions, Voldemort, could I be sure you would tell me the truth?" I wanted to know.

He looked at me even more sternly and nodded. "Of course you can be sure."

"Who are you, I mean, why do they call you the Dark Lord?" I decided to start it all from the beginning.

"I'm Lord Voldemort", he said, "I'm the most powerful wizard that ever walked this earth. Just a few more weeks and I'm the leader of the wizarding world… And then I will take the rest."

I would have lied if I said I wasn't shocked. I was shocked by the statement itself, but I was even more shocked by the way he gave it. He seemed to be totally sure about what he was going to do, there was no doubt, no hesitation. It sounded as if he saw himself born to be the world's leader. And that scared literally the hell out of me. I finally stood up and walked over to the window, because I couldn't look at him now. If anyone else would have said something like that to me, I would have called him totally mental or drunk, but Voldemort was everything but mental or drunk. He was frightening reasonable and sober.

"You're joking!" I tried to reassure myself while I watched some birds ascending from the dark forest that surrounded the manor.

The rustling of his robes told me that he was standing up. He silently walked over to me to stand right behind me, but he didn't dare to touch me now.

"I'm not the humorous kind of people", he ruined that last little flicker of hope in me.

I turned to him again to look into his eyes. To do this I had to raise my head – and this time I felt small in front of him.

"So you must be a total lunatic", I made another attempt to find out if he was kidding, although I already knew he wasn't.

He shook his head slightly. "I can assure you that I'm totally sane."

We remained silent for a while, because I needed time to sort out my feelings. I was totally upset, but not because of what he told me, but because of the fact that I was not half as scared as I should have been.

"How… I mean, how do you want to… achieve that goal?" I finally asked.

He smirked. "I think I'll kill all the leaders."

I stared at him in horror for a few seconds, than his smile grew wider and crept up to his eyes. I was really glad that this was actually a joke.

"I recommend you not to worry about the things I do, because I promise you that they won't affect you", he let me know after seriousness had returned to his face.

"So you want me to be your stupid girl, don't you?" I said grimly, not able to hide my anger about his impertinence. "The Lady who don't ask a word and follows her Lord blindly."

"I actually still don't know what I want from you", he said calmly, "I just know that I want to have you here, with me, in my life. I can't explain it, it's just something I really need."

I turned to the window again, so I didn't have to show him how annoyed I slowly grew. I was gravely surprised by those open confessions that he kept firing at me. Normally people tended to beat around the bush when it's about revealing personal feelings and wishes, but he just said what he was thinking, and I really admired him for that. There was so much I wanted to say to him, but I perfectly knew that things like these never left my mouth so easily. I was so used to hide and suppress my feelings that I just didn't know how to articulate them. Plus I really didn't know what to feel at all. All I knew was that there was a very strong part of me that wanted to give him the chance he desired. So I turned back to him and leaned my head against his shoulder.

"This is totally crazy", I murmured.

"I know", he said softly and laid his arm around my shoulder shyly, "It's totally crazy, but I can't help it…"

"Why am I so drawn to you, Voldemort?" I wanted to know, "I mean, this is totally illogical. It is so totally not me. I honestly don't know myself anymore… Do you influence me with your magic?"

"No", he replied, "I assure you that I don't and never will make you do anything against your will. I treasure you too much, so I won't hurt and abuse you…"

"Why does this happen so fast?" I asked after I had thought about his words for a while.

"I can't tell you", he said, "I don't understand it myself. I… I just ask you to let it happen… I never experienced feelings like these. It's all new to me and it's astounding…"

It was indeed astounding, even more because I still remembered what Narcissa had told me of Voldemort's incapability to love. If her words were true there was a contradiction I couldn't understand. I knew that I had to solve this riddle before I gave in to whatever I was about to feel for him. I felt safe with him, yes, but that didn't mean I was about to get along with everything he did.

"Can you explain your feelings to me?" I asked cautiously, raised my head and looked into his eyes again.

He shook his head very slowly. I knew that he was agonizing about all of this just as much as I did. It seemed that we've both discovered a mystery that wasn't meant to be unveiled too easily.

"Time will tell", he replied instead.

I nodded and lost myself in his embrace for a while. I could have been standing like this forever, just inhaling his fragrance and enjoying his mere presence. The magic he radiated made the air prickle, and I figured out reluctantly that I really began to love this particular feeling.

I wasn't in love, not yet, but I was closer to love than I had ever been before. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn't only me who was able to heal him, but it was also him who could heal me. I still had reminiscences of my nightmare in my head, a nightmare that haunted me for so many years now. I laid all my hopes on Voldemort to make it vanish for good after all those years.

"There's a reason why we met, isn't it?" I asked quietly.

"I'm sure of that", he replied softly.

After some more silent minutes he finally broke the embrace and backed away a few steps. He eyed me again as if he wanted to imprint my image on his mind, then he went to the door.

"I have to leave now, my Lady", he informed me calmly, "But we will meet later this day. I want you to take a shower and get some proper clothing. I've instructed Narcissa to assist you in anything you need, so you can go and ask her for everything that comes to your mind."

Those words sounded so much more like the Dark Lord than anything else he had said this morning. Although he really tried to treat me as something like equal he couldn't hide all the time who he was. I stifled a smile and nodded.

"Yes, my Lord", I confirmed his order with an arched brow.

He looked at me as if he wanted to scold me but decided against it. Then he turned and left.

Once again I was left alone with all my thoughts, and although I still was very doubtful I didn't agonize that much anymore. I had come to the decision that I really wanted to have him in my life, only Gods know why, so I had to get along with the consequences, no matter how they might look.

With mixed emotions towards the meeting he had mentioned I also left the room to go looking for Narcissa.

Xxx

Some hours later I was standing in front of the door of the fireplace room, dressed in some black robes Narcissa had found for me, and waited. It was late afternoon on the day I've finally decided to stay with Voldemort. Now he really wanted to introduce me to his Death Eaters, and I would have lied if I said I was looking forward to that. I had decided not to appear in my normal muggle clothes, because I was sure those people would be offended by them. So I had followed Voldemort's suggestion (I didn't want to call it an order) to ask Narcissa if she could help me and was lucky that she hadn't sent me away. After rummaging around in a huge wardrobe she had finally given me a black robe I could wear over my normal clothes.

At the moment I was completely alone, neither Voldemort nor the Death Eaters had appeared yet, so I could only wait. My heart was pounding loudly and I could hardly breathe. I told myself to calm down very harshly, because if there was anything I really didn't need right now, it was a panic attack.

"So he decided to keep you here?" I heard a mocking voice behind me.

I turned around and looked into the face of Snape who eyed me and smirked.

"Do you consider that a problem?" I asked cheekily, just to try out how he would react, and to distract my mind.

He frowned, but then he gave me a fleeting smile. "As long as the Dark Lord says he wants you to be here, everyone has to accept it."

Behind me I heard several people entering the entrance hall, so I turned in their direction. I recognized Lucius and Narcissa and a tall boy who looked very much like his father. He eyed me as if I were a spider at the wall.

Bellatrix came down the stairs, dressed in something made from leather and lace that looked as if she had stolen it from a brothel. She wore by far too much make-up and her hair was messy as usual. It was obvious that something was clearly wrong with that woman.

She stared at me with that special glare of doom that was meant to discourage me, but I held my ground and stared back until she turned her head. I couldn't help but crack a smile. In the corner of my eye I saw that Snape had noticed that silent communication. He gave me an encouraging look that really surprised me.

"Well, well…" a voice from the other side of the hall said and made me look in that direction.

Voldemort had arrived, and somehow he looked totally different from when I had been alone with him this morning or the day before. His blue eyes were cold and dark and the expression on his face was like a wall of bricks.

He waited patiently until Snape, Bellatrix, the Malfoys and a few other men had entered the fireplace room, then he laid a hand on my shoulder and pushed me gently through the door. I didn't dare to look at him, just held my head up high and walked beside him, pretending that I perfectly knew my place was at his side. Inside I was a total mess. I didn't want him to show me around, I would have loved to sit in a corner and watch the meeting from there, but he wanted me to sit right next to him at the head of the table. About a dozen pairs of eyes looked at me interestedly, curiously or hostile. I felt like dying.

"Has no-one ever told you that it's impolite to stare at another person?" Voldemort asked in a very calm voice. The Death Eaters immediately took their eyes from me and began to stare anywhere else. Especially the table seemed to be of maximum interest.

The whole room was lying in deep silence, nobody spoke. It felt as if some of them didn't even dare to breathe. The fire in the fireplace was crackling and I noticed Nagini who coiled around my chair. That was indeed relieving. Who would ever have thought I once might find it relieving that a huge snake made sure that nobody touched me?

Voldemort, of course, noticed what Nagini did and he seemed to approve it although he didn't say a word. He just waited patiently. One minute, two – it seemed to be an eternity until he finally decided to speak, now absolutely sure that everyone would listen to every single word he said.

"Some of you have already met my guest, and I'm glad that she was welcomed in your house, Lucius."

He looked at the blonde man who did nothing else but staring at his fingernails. Narcissa exhaled and gave me an encouraging glance. Somehow I really liked her. She had taken care for me, had given me to eat and had lend me some clothes. For this she was closer to me than most people in my old life had ever been.

I noticed the other Death Eaters looking at me again, but they didn't stare so impolitely anymore, it was just interest – and I would also have been interested in who the man to whom I had pledged my allegiance was bringing with him to a meeting.

"As I already told you", Voldemort continued, "I will punish everyone who dares to touch or even insult her. In my ranks she's standing high above you all and you will address her as your Lady."

I almost choked when I heard his words. I knew that Voldemort had some strange points of view, but now he seemed to have gone totally mental. I surely didn't want to stand above all those powerful wizards who were able to kill me with just saying a word. At that moment I didn't think of Voldemort's protection charms at all as I was pure nervousness.

Bellatrix snorted. "Lord, I don't want to doubt your decisions, but she's a muggle…"

"You know nothing about her, Bellatrix", Voldemort cut her off, "Don't judge her by where she came from."

Bellatrix gave me a murderous glare but didn't dare to talk anymore. It was obvious that she didn't want to upset Voldemort, but I perfectly knew that she wouldn't accept me at his side, even more since I knew that she wanted that special honor for herself.

Why the hell did Voldemort do that? I was sure that none of the other Death Eaters would accept my presence either, and he must have known that I wasn't able to defend myself against a witch or wizard. In the moment my train of thought had stopped at that point I heard Nagini hiss from somewhere under my chair – at least Voldemort gave me a bodyguard…

"Severus", Voldemort addressed the gloomy man who was sitting opposite to Lucius, "As I won't be here the next few days because of reasons I've already told you, I ask you to take care of her. Show her around, answer all of her questions honestly and help her to settle down in the wizarding world."

Severus arched a brow and nodded, looked at me with an amused smile. "Of course, my Lord. I will follow the instructions you've given me this afternoon."

Voldemort seemed to be pleased by how things turned out.

But I honestly didn't want to know about those instructions he had given Severus. It's not that I didn't like that gloomy man, but there was something about him that made me feel uncomfortable. And why the hell did Voldemort have to leave for such a long time? In my opinion he hadn't told me enough about his world to leave me alone for days now. By far!


End file.
